Peace
by I Took the One Less Travelled
Summary: Leah and Sam have a little chat about love, loss, forgiveness and peace. Oneshot, post BD, canon pairings, canon compliant.


**Couple of firsts for me—first Twilight fic in a loooooonnnnggg time, first attempt at first person point of view in a looonnnnngggg time... Please don't be too harsh on me. Also, I haven't read the books in ages, so I don't know for sure if Sam and Renesmee ever met in person. But just say that they didn't. Post BD. Leah and Sam have a little chat. May be a little bit OOC on Leah's part, but I did try. **

Esme Cullen was the most motherly woman that I'd ever met, vampire or not. She seemed to _love_ having people to feed—Jacob, Seth and I, notably, but the other wolves dropped in too. The only one who didn't ever come by was Sam. And I was perfectly okay with that. Sam Uley was the absolute last person that I _ever _voluntarily wanted to speak to.

Since phasing, I understood how he felt about Emily. That was inevitable. And he understood how I had felt about him, how being near him affected me. Every time we were in wolf form together, I not only had to deal with the daily hole that was where my heart used to be, but I had to deal with his crushing guilt, his apologies. And even though he saw _exactly_ what those apologies did to me, he kept them up, as if one day I would wake up and suddenly it would be okay again.

And then I got relief. In the form of _Jacob Black_, of all people. He threw a tantrum and ran after Isabella Swan, who didn't love him back. And I had blessed silence in my head. I couldn't hear Sam anymore. And Sam couldn't hear me.

Jacob and Seth were smart enough to stay out of it, but I knew that Sam still asked Jacob how I was. He wanted to know if I was ready to accept his apology. But just because I refused to bleed didn't mean that my heart hadn't been ripped out of my chest. By the man who was supposed to love me, the man who had promised me forever.

I couldn't blame him for choosing Emily anymore. I _knew_ how he felt about her. There was no more gravity in Sam Uley's world, just Emily Young. Nothing else anchored him. She came first. In everything. But that didn't mean that I wanted to hear about it. It didn't make _me_ hurt any less.

One day, though, he came. He went inside and talked to Carlisle, then he talked briefly to Jacob. I spent the entire time outside, with my feet dangling in the river behind the Cullen house, cradling Nessie on my lap. With Edward and Bella and Rosalie and Jacob all unavailable, I had gotten the task of watching her. Not that I minded, at all. She was an adorable child—nearing the appearance of about six now, with the energy to match.

Nessie put her hand to my face and held it there for a moment, pictures of the visiting Sam accompanied by questioning feelings—we obviously knew this person, so why hadn't Nessie seen him before? I explained as best that I could about alphas. She had seen him during the confrontation with the Volturi, but he had been in wolf form, then.

Sam came out of the house—I could see him from here, but ignored him. He was the last person that I wanted to talk to. Sam, however, didn't get the message.

"Leah."

"Sam. This is Nessie. Nessie, Sam."

"That's nice, Leah, but I came to talk to you."

"What if I don't want to talk to you?"

Sam winced, like I'd slapped him. Why, I didn't know. It wasn't like he should have been expecting it.

"Leah..."

"What did you want to say? I know that you won't go away until you say it."

"I'm sorry."

"When will you get it? I have _felt_ how sorry you are! I know that you're _sorry_. It doesn't _change_ anything, does it? You still ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped all over it, and you still don't really care that your apologies just make it worse! I know why you're here, Sam, and it isn't because of me. You want me to forgive you because _Emily_ misses me. You _don't even care that you hurt me_, just that my absence is hurting _her_."

"Leah, that isn't—"

"It is. Completely. The only reason that you keep coming back. Oh, you're sorry that you hurt me, yes, but it doesn't compare to how much that she's hurt. It doesn't matter to you that every time I have to endure your presence it hurts even more each time, because I simply don't matter as much to you."

"Leah—"

"No! You came here, now you get to listen!" I raged, completely losing it. "I _will _come back to her, Sam. She's still the closest thing that I've ever had to a sister. But you _have to leave me alone and let me put the pieces back together_. Otherwise, it'll just keep hurting."

"Leah, please," Sam begged. "I'm sorry I hurt you—"

"_You promised me forever_!"

"I know. And I know that I broke that promise, and Leah, I _am_ sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. If I'd had a choice—"

"When will you understand that _it isn't enough_? Sorry isn't enough for what you did to me! Sorry doesn't _make the pain go away_! I don't want to talk to you right now, Sam. Please, just—go. Please. If—_when_ I'm ready to hear it, I'll come and find you. But for now, it's best for everyone if we keep our distance for awhile."

He nodded gravely and turned away. "I get that, Leah. I do get it."

"No, Sam, you really don't. You know when Bella first got pregnant, Jake took one of Carlisle's cars into Seattle and ran around just looking at girls, hoping to imprint on one? Hoping that it would take the pain away? You don't understand at all, and that's why I can't have you near me while I try to sort that out. You know what, I don't even mind Emily. If she wants to talk, she can come here and show the effort, and I'll talk to her. I've forgiven her, and I've forgiven you. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to be around you anymore."

"Okay, Leah. When you're ready."

"Thank you, Sam, for pretending to understand even though you really don't. Do you want to hold Nessie for awhile? I'm sure that Edward and Bella wouldn't mind." I hoisted the child up to my waist, pulling one leg over my hip.

"Sure," Sam said awkwardly. He took the toddler from me, and Nessie had used her preferred method of communication by latching her hand onto his face. Sam looked as enchanted as everyone else when he let the toddler down to her feet and Nessie pulled on my hand, tugging me in the direction of the river. Though it wasn't very deep on a normal sized person, the low current led to it being a decent kiddie pool for Nessie, though not for much longer with how she grew.

"She wants to go swimming. Good bye, Sam. Don't call me, I'll call you."

Sam nodded and disappeared into the trees to phase into wolf form. I felt that I had finally achieved some closure, some kind of measure of peace.


End file.
